Financial Planning from Plundering Philanderers

Today is Tax Day (in the United States), and in honor of this day, we'd like to share some appropriate financial advice from the folks who know the most about being discrete and efficient with their income... pirates!  With the treasure and looting and acquisitions that they procure, they need to be able to keep their financial burden low, lest the tax man go after them (in addition to the Royal Navy and other officials).  So make sure you practice these positive money habits so that you too can one day get yourself to a peaceful retirement in paradise!

Remember that that anything you sell off exceeding a certain amount of value needs to be reported on your taxes.  Yes, that includes flocks of chickens, valuable portraits, and grandfather clocks.  Yes, even if it is a forced sale.

If acquiring a large amount of sudden income, utilize alternative holding accounts to minimize your realized gains.  We're not saying go underground with it, but that has been known to be a secure place to hold wealth over a longterm period.

Make sure you keep careful records of your holdings in case of an audit.  Think of it as a roadmap of your finances, so that you can show that everything is proper and legitimate if ever asked.

Make sure you manage your finances wisely, or else you can land yourself in jail, courtesy of the government!


Recently Popular